Real People Real Discussion

[Mistress Sara]

You know what would be fun? If the wives of the guys signed up and came on here to chit chat. Real people, real discussion. Because no doubt that the women may have thought at one time that they were the only one who thought that they were with someone who had a fetish. I know at one time I did. I thought that I was the only woman in the world who was dating a guy that enjoyed kink. I think that would be a very interesting discussion.

Guys..why don't you talk to your wives and or girlfriends and ask them to come on here and participate in a discussion? No harm in asking right? I would love to hear from your wives/girlfriends on this.

Mistress Sara

[cap]

Ms.Sara, were you introduced to the domination aspect by Ken, or were you already into it when the two of you met? I see a lot of posts where the guys are trying to 'ease' their wives/gf into being dominant. I was wondering if the opposite scenarios were ever true...
1. Has a dominant wife/gf ever tried to make the husband/bf a submissive?
2. Has a submissive guy ever tried to change because the woman did not enjoy kink in any way?

Q2 stems from the fact that it seems to me that it is always the woman making the change to cater to the needs of the guy which seems to be contradictory to the very notion of a 'dominant' female.

[Mistress Sara]

Hi cap,
I was raised in a female dominant household. I dearly love my father, but he let us girls get away with more than normal parents would. Me especially. I had my own car and credit card at age 16. (which was not common at that time) I got away with a lot. Yeah, I was the brat with the horse, the clothes, the car etc..

I was kind of a mean girl growing up, I met ken when we were in middle school (then called Junior High) we hated each other with a passion. Then during our high school years, we didn’t talk at all, he had his friends, I had mine, we had a few classes together that was pretty much it.

During our Senior year in HS I dated one of his friends who was a year younger than us (who ended up being a jerk by lying to me) and Ken and I had some classes together, since he was my boyfriend’s best friend, we hung around a lot together. Then I broke up with the liar boyfriend, Ken and I still hung out, and then it happened. We would joke around, and I know that when we were in HS he would act a certain way that would make me want to wipe my shoes off on him, or boss him around and tell him he was my slave. When he made a big deal and would say, "Hey, don't wipe your feet on me" I would have to do it all the more.... He never objected, and we had a lot of fun doing it so I would refer to him as my slave and that I had the leash so that pretty much meant he had to do what I said. What girl isn’t going to be enthusiastic about a boy doing what ever she wanted!! I enjoyed it a lot, I liked him, and I could tell he liked me so after we graduated, we were together all the time. So it’s pretty safe to say, that he didn’t introduce me to the idea, it was already there. I think that with him being open to “being my slave” and the way I totally enjoyed it we are a perfect match. If I knew then what I know now...I could have just totally turned that boy inside out, more than I already have.

Not to say there were not any rough spots, there were plenty, but you have to talk and get all of those things worked out. You have to grow as a couple, and personally and with us, it just worked out. I think that there has to be an interest there in order for anything to develop.

Now that I’ve babbled about that! My opinion on the other two questions.

I think that some women try to make their boyfriend/husband submissive. If it isn’t already there, it is not going to work. I conducted an experiment once with someone who I know was fond of me. In order for him to talk to me, he had to do what I wanted, that went as far as, talking to me, if I don’t think he was talking to me in a respectful manner, I’d hang up the phone. I expected a certain flavor of coffee when he came to see me. If that wasn’t met, I’d dump it out, and he’d learn by looking at his 5.00 coffee on the ground. If I didn’t like what was coming out of his mouth, I’d slap it. This boy learned how to talk to me what to say, how to say it and when, even so far as to ask permission. The person also knows that I am in control of all situations, if I went with him anywhere…all that. So yes, even though this boy was not a boyfriend or a husband. It’s possible to do. He was a good sport about it all too, and the fact that he was fond of me didn't hurt either.

As for question #2. I’m sure that all guys try to change in some way. They have not come to terms as to what they are, so they get upset, they burn magazines, throw them out because they feel ashamed of themselves at one point or another. They just need to realize that there are women out there that care, and that want and need to be treated like a Princess, and they can do this…if they just be themselves. That is where a lot of guys go wrong, they try to be someone they are not in my opinion. I think that there is a little bit of kink in everyone. It is just the bold that don’t have a problem allowing it to come out.

I know, I have read the threads about the guys easing their girlfriends/wives into the kink scene. That's why I think that it is important to tell them in the very beginning of the relationship about your kinks, so they have the option of either staying or going. Not all women want to participate in kink, it's too bad, but it's true. There are some who do it for money and some that do it just because they love it. I don't have a problem with either. I have friends who are prodommes, and friends in the kink community who go out to kink clubs on the weekends to satisfy that kinky itch.

What kink means to one person, it sometimes doesn't mean the same to another.

[ct1900]

My lady is already a visitor to these boards, but I will pass along this thread to her.

[nathan]

Hi cap,
I was raised in a female dominant household. I dearly love my father, but he let us girls get away with more than normal parents would. Me especially. I had my own car and credit card at age 16. (which was not common at that time) I got away with a lot. Yeah, I was the brat with the horse, the clothes, the car etc..

I was kind of a mean girl growing up, I met ken when we were in middle school (then called Junior High) we hated each other with a passion. Then during our high school years, we didn’t talk at all, he had his friends, I had mine, we had a few classes together that was pretty much it.

During our Senior year in HS I dated one of his friends who was a year younger than us (who ended up being a jerk by lying to me) and Ken and I had some classes together, since he was my boyfriend’s best friend, we hung around a lot together. Then I broke up with the liar boyfriend, Ken and I still hung out, and then it happened. We would joke around, and I know that when we were in HS he would act a certain way that would make me want to wipe my shoes off on him, or boss him around and tell him he was my slave. When he made a big deal and would say, "Hey, don't wipe your feet on me" I would have to do it all the more.... He never objected, and we had a lot of fun doing it so I would refer to him as my slave and that I had the leash so that pretty much meant he had to do what I said. What girl isn’t going to be enthusiastic about a boy doing what ever she wanted!! I enjoyed it a lot, I liked him, and I could tell he liked me so after we graduated, we were together all the time. So it’s pretty safe to say, that he didn’t introduce me to the idea, it was already there. I think that with him being open to “being my slave” and the way I totally enjoyed it we are a perfect match. If I knew then what I know now...I could have just totally turned that boy inside out, more than I already have.

Not to say there were not any rough spots, there were plenty, but you have to talk and get all of those things worked out. You have to grow as a couple, and personally and with us, it just worked out. I think that there has to be an interest there in order for anything to develop.

Now that I’ve babbled about that!

What You call "babbling",i and i'm sure many others reading this call hot and fantastic reading! So please "babble" on to Your hearts content any time Mistress Sara...i loved reading that...great stuff...thanks! :eyebrows:

[Mlicious]

Hey all. I not only have a man who is a kinkster but I am a member myself. I can relate to what you said Miss Sara in that I thought I was the only person who has kinky D/s thoughts. I kept it to myself because I believed that no one would go for the things I had in mind. Now I know better and I agree with your advice to tell a potential partner up front about your particular interests, that way the person can make an informed decision about whether to be with you.

[flatworm00]

I would like to thank Mistress Sara for that "babbling"! I think that it was extremely interesting and fun to read. It is refreshing to know that women like you exist and appreciate the power and control they have over men. Again, thank you

[lildog]

Kenrug sure is a lucky guy!

[tripster2005]

That was a great story Sara. Where do I find girls like this??? They seem very rare...:(

[Mistress Sara]

What You call "babbling",i and i'm sure many others reading this call hot and fantastic reading! So please "babble" on to Your hearts content any time Mistress Sara...i loved reading that...great stuff...thanks! :eyebrows:

Damn natey...I haven't heard from you in a long time. We have a lot of catching up to do... Gimme a call biatch! ^5 ha ha ha

So My babble is interesting huh? ha ha. I have a lot to babble about...and I will.

email Me: Sara_b_jeet@hotmail.com yeah yeah.. that's an old address...that's ok, be like nike and just do it!

[Mistress Sara]

Hey all. I not only have a man who is a kinkster but I am a member myself. I can relate to what you said Miss Sara in that I thought I was the only person who has kinky D/s thoughts. I kept it to myself because I believed that no one would go for the things I had in mind. Now I know better and I agree with your advice to tell a potential partner up front about your particular interests, that way the person can make an informed decision about whether to be with you.

Hi Mlicious,
I know!!! crazy isn't it!!
Another thing I really like about kinksters is that they are not all stuffy and full of themselves as so many others are. They are pretty much down to earth people.

I know what you mean about telling others though.. I didn't dare either. Now that I have some experience, I don't care, if people judge me by it, they are not worth my time.

[Mistress Sara]

flatworm, tripster and lil' dog,

ha ha.. thanks. See, this is what I want, discussion.. There is someone out there for each and every one of you. I believe that when you are least expecting to meet someone, that is when they seem to come into your life.

I appreciate you guys being here!

So do either of you guys have any thoughts on the questions that cap posted?

And I'll ask you all a question since I am on right now.

I have a friend, she is vanilla. She used to be a stripper, she has some stories to tell. I am getting together an interview for her so that I can post it here. The thing is, that when I told her that I was a kinkster, she was very accepting, and didn't judge. She is so cool...I'm going to stop calling her vanilla and call her..neopolitan instead, cause there is a little bit of everything in her. I know that if she was a member here eveyone would just love her, she's that awesome of a person. She's had some experiences with kinky boys coming in to the club and their requests. I will be getting that up hopefully this week for all to read.

Do any of you have any questions that you want to have answered...knowing a bit of her back ground?

Let me know soon, as I want to have all the questions to her at one time!!!

Thanks!!

Mistress Sara

[flatworm00]

I don't know about others but I can only speak for myself. My wife was not an overtly dominate person when we met. However, she likes power, she likes control. So I guess for us it was kind of a natural fit. She was receptive to everything that I suggested. Now we are getting into our "Golden years", but she still likes power and control. She likes to keep our relationship private and we do not share with other people...which is fine. We have been married longer than some of the members have been alive. We just celebrated our 38th anniversary and are still very much in love.
I think most women like the idea of being in control. I don't think they look at it as a slave/master relationship. My wife didn't at first, but came around to that conclusion after a while. She is not near as frightful as she was when she was younger...LOL...I guess she is mellowing! But we still have the same basic relationship. She is the boss and we both know it.
I still believe there are a lot of women out there who want the control, the power over a man. I think the problem (and I am not sure that is the right word) is they don't know how to get what they want...and conversely men don't know how to submit without looking like some kind of fool, in their own minds eye.
As far as caps questions...I am sure there have been times when a woman knew she wanted a slave and made the man submit to her will. And I am sure there have been men who have tried to change to comply with the woman who did not want a slave...I doubt that those relationships would ever work. You have to have 2 people each willing to "play" their role. You have to have a woman who wants total control and power and you have to have a man who is willing to submit to her will....There are women out there who want that...lots of them I think.
Well, that is my opinion for what it is worth...LOL...probably not much!

[Jadis]

See, here I am Sara ... just like we talked about ~_^ Yes, I know - so lax in visiting but you know I care!

Anyways, as for topic - obviously we enjoy the kink in real life (my fiancee and I) and visit the clubs and play (as Sara and ken can attest to!). He was completely vanilla when we met so you could say I introduced it to him, but he had that natural interest - that streak - that was there long before I was.

He experimented with pain (especially pain) even in his early years and read a lot prior to even meeting me. In fact, the first time I told him about my interests - I was sure he'd run ... I mean I dumped it all on him at once (guess I rather wanted to see if he'd bolt or if he'd stand up to the situation in the first place) ... but instead he started asking questions: and the rest is history.

He's still learning - we're still getting our personal comforts and aspects down (sometimes we have to change something, or alter it - sometimes things just don't work ... but that's half the fun too) ... but I can very much say that it was there to start with. I don't think you can just "make" someone a Domme or a submissive - I think it has to be there from the start ... they just might not know it yet.

And the biggest thing is that it's right for the couple involved. It doesn't have to be YOUR idea of play, it doesn't even have to be something you like ... the debate isn't a certain style or a certain ideal ... but it's what sort of aspect YOU can live with, what interests and draws you as a person/couple. My pet peeve: someone judging others for their own life styles. It's as personalized as a finger print!

Mmmm alright well I do suppose I'm being pretty random here (that's what I get for hanging out all night with you Sara! -lol-) but there's my two cents.