My current 'situation'

[Daethian]

When I met my bf we were both just discovering this lifestyle and so began exploring it together. We joined our local community and began attending meetings and play parties. Over time our living arrangements and schedules made it next to impossible to do any scening at home and getting out to the functions was becoming impossible. Basically our 'lifestyle' slowly died off.

So for several years we lived 'vanilla'.



Here's where I am now: He is pretty obviously not interested in rekindling our D/s relationship. I miss the lifestyle though. So I went to a play party this weekend and have been ordering books again. I have been open about it and asked him to come with me. He is one of those men who will not have serious discussions if he can avoid it. He also seems to have some major catholic guilt. LOL Anyhow I am hoping to come to an arrangement with him where I will be able to have a nonsexual male submissive to scene with. That is a compromise because I consider sex to be the natural end to a scene ;)

Even better would be to have a live in boytoy... ~le sigh~ maybe some day.

Anyone have experience with a similar situation or advice?

[northwindx]

You have to get him interested slowly, rushing is no good. Same for a living boy toy, you need to open this to discussion with him, then find a proper guy to meet with you two for a while and if you all happy, you can get him as a boy toy but as i said, slowly is the key, also talk these in the bed, men tends to agree and give promises in the bed when they are full of lust ;)

by the way,can I add you to my msn list?

[Daethian]

Sure you can add me ;)

Hmm... maybe pre sex yes... post sex no way LOL

I've been going slowly, not pushing anything really at all.

[northwindx]

I have added.

Yeah of course pre-sex when he got heat up ;)

As far as I can get from what you said, you want to get ur husband interested in this lifestyle and make him your slave. Since you said, you consider sex to be the natural end to a scene. If you ever have a boy-toy,
would you have sex with him as the natural end to a scene?

On the other hand, your husband being catholic, it looks kinda hard but never impossible! Nothing is impossible!

[Daethian]

Enjoyed our chat today ;) Hopefully you have a better understanding of the sitch

[submale188]

Even better would be to have a live in boytoy... ~le sigh~ maybe some day.


I've always dreamed of being a girl's live in slave and boy toy. Let me know if you ever decide to make your (and my) dream come true.

[Daethian]

IN a perfect world it would all be so easy ;)

[slave2007]

When I met my bf we were both just discovering this lifestyle and so began exploring it together. We joined our local community and began attending meetings and play parties. Over time our living arrangements and schedules made it next to impossible to do any scening at home and getting out to the functions was becoming impossible. Basically our 'lifestyle' slowly died off.

So for several years we lived 'vanilla'.



Here's where I am now: He is pretty obviously not interested in rekindling our D/s relationship. I miss the lifestyle though. So I went to a play party this weekend and have been ordering books again. I have been open about it and asked him to come with me. He is one of those men who will not have serious discussions if he can avoid it. He also seems to have some major catholic guilt. LOL Anyhow I am hoping to come to an arrangement with him where I will be able to have a nonsexual male submissive to scene with. That is a compromise because I consider sex to be the natural end to a scene ;)

Even better would be to have a live in boytoy... ~le sigh~ maybe some day.

Anyone have experience with a similar situation or advice?

i m ready 2 b ur boytoy

[equidum]

Please excuse me .... I know the meaning of "boy" I know what a "toy" is , but I can't reconcile these two words! What is a "BOYTOY", actually ....?

Thks to help me upgrade my weakening command of American language!

Equidum

[kappa75]

I don't think you can make him enjoy something that he will never enjoy. Your best idea is I think get him to agree that you need someone submissive that is not a sexual relationship....use him for forplay?....Sexual fetishes are what they are, I don't think one can change them, or learn to enjoy them. Many partners will participate in them because of the need of the partner, but remember it is much easier asking your partner to be dominant then submissive, because you are asking someone to hurt you instead of them being hurt (again, not all sm relationships have to include pain, but in general speaking).