whats the right age

[LadySharen]

I really want to have a 24/7 mistress slave relationship eventually. I want to start introducing my boyfrind into the world of femdom. however he is only 19 years old. Is he too young? How old is old enough?

[tonguester]

It is entirely possible to have mistress/slave relationship in a 'normal' loving relationship. I believe a husband and wife or boyfriend/girlfriend while behaving normally in the outside world, but in the bedroom, there can be an understanding that effectively means the man is 'available' for slavery 24/7.

It is hard for me to conceive of a young person who would be a 24/7 slave at the exclusion of everyday life, in the same way as it would be hard to imagine a woman being a dominant mistress all day and all night every day of the week. The idea is nice though.

To answer you second question, as far as this forum goes, 18 is the minimum age, but 19 doesn't sound too young. I've had fantasies about dominant women since well before that age. I think I would have made a great slave for an older woman back then. God I wish it had happened to me!!!

What is the age difference between you and him? Presume you are the older person?

[HerOttoman]

Can't really say that there is a set age-- depends on level of maturity, experience, desire, and other factors. Me, if I was 19 again, and I had that option, I'd think I'd hit the lottery...

[equidum]

I've been a slave in my mind long before 19 ! But I made my "coming out" only when I was around 35, alas !!!! I believe that slavery must be a 24/7 operation ( Except working hours ,...), but, obviously, most of that time is devoted to household chores, domestic and personal service .... The cream of the cream, i.e, the true, non domestic, BDSM action only counts for a small, very small % of a slave 's life ! However, it can easily be mixed with the domestic chores ...
If the slave and Mistress also are husband/Wife, the big issue will arise when kids are at home, and grow up .... THAT is a big issue! Age is not, I think !

equidum

[tripster2005]

He is still a teenager. I think it's a little young for a 24/7 slave. Just my take. You can easily be taken advantage of at such an age. At the most he has graduated high school and maybe experienced one year of college...

[ichabod]

I started to want to be a slave at 9, but didn't get a chance to even start a partial relationship until 23 and a full relationship until 60! I would have loved it at 19; an older woman would have been fine...

[tripster2005]

Because that situation is ideal in your mind doesn't make it so for her boyfriend. In fact, going by her previous posts I don't think he is into it very much.

[LadySharen]

no, hes not into it really. but i wanted to talk to him about it. although with his age and all i was wondering if i should even bother to continue bringing it up.

[crudwell]

I'd love to see a large bottomed 60 year old woman sitting on a 20 yr old wimp.... maybe someone can start a website..

[equidum]

Hi, Ichabod !

I believe that an older woman would have been THE BEST for you, (or me!) little slave! Not too old though, but, at least 40, for a guy of 19 ! .....
Equidum

[flatworm00]

Chronological age has little to do with it. Most of us have fanatsies that started well before we were 19. However, if he is not into it, he may never be. But that older woman, younger guy thing is what every male dreams of!!!

[Jadis]

It all depends on the maturity of the person AND the relationship, the experience of the people involved, the attitudes and desires presented there in, the level of trust and understanding between partners ... there's a lot that determines when someone's "ready". They could be 19, or they could be 32 ... you never know.

I would say that from what I've read, your partner is not very interested - and it doesn't sound like he's becoming interested either: this may not be a good time to bring up a 24/7 relationship. That might turn him off even more if he feels there is pressure to perform to some imagined "standard".

Of course, in a real 24/7 relationship - it's not like the stories or movies. You find it's a lot less exciting than you'd imagine. I've tried a real live in as well as modifying my relationships - and I found that the modification seems to be far more suited to realistic ideas. Of course, I'm monogamous - with children - a working woman ... and frankly, sometimes I just don't WANT to be "boss" all the time when I come home exhausted either.

I'd suggest keep the pace slow and steady - see what develops before trying to rush into anything too binding.

[LadySharen]

well, sorry crudwell, im 27 not 60. but that is a krazy fantasy. I love younger guys. I think they'd make the best slaves. but in reality I think im gonna give up on it with this boyfriend. he doesnt seem to be into it and i dont want to push him into something he doesnt want to do. maybe someday he'll comea round but who knows.

[Jadis]

well, sorry crudwell, im 27 not 60. but that is a krazy fantasy. I love younger guys. I think they'd make the best slaves. but in reality I think im gonna give up on it with this boyfriend. he doesnt seem to be into it and i dont want to push him into something he doesnt want to do. maybe someday he'll comea round but who knows.

He's young: just because he's not interested now doesn't mean he wont be in the future ... men change over time (in fact my ex-husband didn't start getting interested until I'd already been involved nearly five years online).

Good luck!

[Menace From NY]

I'm 19, wish I could find me a girlfriend like you that I could worship 24/7 but that probably wont happen till I'm an old man. I'll talk your boyfriend into being your slave =P

[equidum]

Bonjour, Madame JADIS


I'm sorry, but I don't understand what You mean when saying that, sometimes, You don't want to "be boss" when coming back home from work, to find, if I understand correctly, Your kids and Your slave-husband ...

Based on my experience, in such cases, "being boss" means that You just sit down in the best arm-chair, snap Your fingers for a drink and snacks, order Your meal .... When Your slave says " Madame is served", You just have to sit at the table, maybe with Your kids, and get served, ring the bell to call the different courses, then leave the table and spend Your evening the way You like, while Your slave will clean and wash up and do whatever chores you'll have wished to order ...

Is that so terrible to "be boss"? Then, my wife must hate me, because She has spent a LOT of terrible evenings!!

Thank You, any way, for Your respected comments

Respectfully,

Equidum

[Jadis]

Bonjour, Madame JADIS


I'm sorry, but I don't understand what You mean when saying that, sometimes, You don't want to "be boss" when coming back home from work, to find, if I understand correctly, Your kids and Your slave-husband ...

Based on my experience, in such cases, "being boss" means that You just sit down in the best arm-chair, snap Your fingers for a drink and snacks, order Your meal .... When Your slave says " Madame is served", You just have to sit at the table, maybe with Your kids, and get served, ring the bell to call the different courses, then leave the table and spend Your evening the way You like, while Your slave will clean and wash up and do whatever chores you'll have wished to order ...

Is that so terrible to "be boss"? Then, my wife must hate me, because She has spent a LOT of terrible evenings!!

Thank You, any way, for Your respected comments

Respectfully,

Equidum

To Me, there is more than just dictating what needs to be done from the comfort of a seat (if you've heard the saying "if you want it done right - do it yourself" ... that would be My motto) ... and I have chosen not to live that lifestyle in front of My young children: I don't think it's appropriate for them at this age.

In most things I have the ultimate control - every day - from: bills, accounts, finances, outing planning, events, child rearing and house control ... but there are nights where I don't wish to do this (especially since I also put in a full day of work on top of coming home to a family) and I will relinquish that responsibility to my fiancée (I'm a single mother mind you, so of course I want it done MY way ... and wouldn't expect My children to respond any other way).

Contrary to popular belief ... I think a slave/submissive should HAVE a say, a mind and thought process of his own. I enjoy willing, complete service ... not just because they "have" to, or think they should. I think they should want to - and it should be a natural act to them: it means more when it's spontaneous than forced ... for Me. I enjoy the response and personality: but there is a time and a place for everything.

Believe Me, My fiancée serves me ... and very well: from feeding me dinner at night (while I lay on the couch against his chest), to rubbing my feet and back, to washing the dishes, drawing my bath and tucking me into bed at night. But when I say "what do you think" or "where do you want to go" and allow him that decision himself, taking the weight from Me ... sometimes I enjoy THAT freedom as well.

Everyone is different, no two individuals or lifestyles are the same - no one is better or more respected than the other. In fact that's the beauty of BDSM, it can fit anyone - at any time - at any point or phase in their life. Some enjoy hardcore suffering, others can't even tolerate pain. It just depends on where you're at (for instance: My fiancée didn't even know the term BDSM until we started dating over a year ago ... believe Me, he's become rather adept for an individual who's still learning).

That's My life ... and I will say that the tone of your message indicated a condescending nature and passing judgment: something which does cause me a bit of aggravation. I have chosen to take your comment in the vein for which I believe it was meant: information, comparison and respect. And for that I will graciously thank you for your response as well ...

[ct1900]

I would have loved to have been a slave to a twenty seven year old woman when I was nineteen. I actually did introduce the girl I was dating when I was that age to the femdom world.

[equidum]

Bonjour, Madame JADIS,


I sincerely apologize , Madame, for the impertinence of my mail.... I indeed overreacted to the "not be boss" concept, but, as You generously asumed, my mail was not meant to be judgemental, even less, critical! If You happened to be interested, I could gladly explain the reason why, but, to-day, it could be understood as a way to find excuses, which is not my intention.....

I just want to, again, beseech You to forgive me, and assure You of my total contrition.

Yours, respectfully

Euidum

[tonguester]

I too would have loved to have been an active submissive earlier in life. Not that I'm old now. When I was 18, I came THAT close once with a 29 year old friend of my mother. She teased the crap out of me with very subtle moves, like eye contact, a wink, a brief display of cleavage, bending over in front of me, even walking in front of me in her underwear (while I babysat her kids one night she was getting ready to go out). When I look back now, it was blatant teasing, but I was too young to read the signs. I was too terrified to make a wrong move (especially being a friend of my mothers). She both turned me on, and terrified the crap out of me. One sentence spoken from me with the right words may well have got the ball rolling. Instead, I chickened out. THAT is the problem with a 19 year old slave. No wisdom or life's experience to cope with the situation.

[Jadis]

Bonjour, Madame JADIS,


I sincerely apologize , Madame, for the impertinence of my mail.... I indeed overreacted to the "not be boss" concept, but, as You generously asumed, my mail was not meant to be judgemental, even less, critical! If You happened to be interested, I could gladly explain the reason why, but, to-day, it could be understood as a way to find excuses, which is not my intention.....

I just want to, again, beseech You to forgive me, and assure You of my total contrition.

Yours, respectfully

Euidum


I understand and I accept :)

I'd enjoy the chance to speak on it one day ... and perhaps we'll be able to see eye to eye, if not necessarily agree. I appreciate your response and thank you for your forthwright manner in this.

Hope to chat with you soon!

[crudwell]

Is it pronounced "Jade - is" or "Jaaa this" ? and whats an Oscura ?

[scotdenell]

no, hes not into it really. but i wanted to talk to him about it. although with his age and all i was wondering if i should even bother to continue bringing it up.

HI Lady....one way to do this is to start him out as a personal assistant, that is don't think of him as a slave. It just means changing the balance in personal duties. IE: On a sunday, when a game is on, it could be the lady that has to make non-stop runs to the fridge for beer. The reverse side would be for you to have the girls over and have him in the reverse role, finding things that your group needs and having him take care of it.

You would eventually make so many demands on him that one day, he may mention to his own friends that he feels like your slave......VOLIA:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[Jadis]

Is it pronounced "Jade - is" or "Jaaa this" ? and whats an Oscura ?

Jad (short a) is ... :)

Spanish ... Dominación Oscura = Dark Domination

That help?

[equidum]

Perhaps will You, first of all, alow me to respectfully kiss Your little feet as a token mark of gratitude for Your lovely reply and forgiveness.... Thank You, Madame!,

I believe that "Jadis" is a French word, which could be translated by the old English expression "in the olden time" ..... I've been wondering why You chose that name, Madame .... Perhaps , because, "in the olden time", there were slaves and Mistresses, < but also Masters ! > ..... ??? And why "DARK" domination ? Does this "dark" caracterize the colour of Your skin , or that of Your soul ? An why this a la Marquis de Sade quotation under Your signature ???

Many intriguing points, Madame, many questionmarks, too! Please, be assured that I raise these questions, not out of curiousity, but because I am deeply interested and eager to know more about You, from my humble little corner of the planet, so far from Yours, where I wish I could be, not only by the thought, in the "olden", but also, in real, in the "present" time.

Not only to "see" You, but to also have a chance to be

Your humble slave,

Equidum

[crudwell]

Jad (short a) is ... :)

Spanish ... Dominación Oscura = Dark Domination

That help?

didn't get the short 'a' bit... is it like the 'a' in the word jade or the 'a' in the word ja or like the 'e' in the word jed

:tear:

[Jadis]

didn't get the short 'a' bit... is it like the 'a' in the word jade or the 'a' in the word ja or like the 'e' in the word jed

:tear:


Like "J-add-iss" ;) Though, admittedly - nearly EVERYONE pronounces it differently ...

[Lars33]

well, sorry crudwell, im 27 not 60. but that is a krazy fantasy. I love younger guys. I think they'd make the best slaves. but in reality I think im gonna give up on it with this boyfriend. he doesnt seem to be into it and i dont want to push him into something he doesnt want to do. maybe someday he'll comea round but who knows.

I have been trained by my first Mistress, when I was younger then 19. I think young slaves are perfect because they don´t have too many experiences with other Mistresses and can be tailored to Your needs.