Being caught with porn

[indian_femdom]

I recently lent a laptop to my friends wife who, despite my attempts to conceal visits to femdom sites, found plenty of images and videos in a temp folder used by a downloader. I recieved a text message from her telling me what she found and basically it has put me in a really awkward position as i'm quite close to her.

It just got me thinking - has anyone else here been in similar situation? If so how did you deal with it?

[equidum]

Doe she sound interested or shocked ? Your behaviour should be very different according to hers !!!!

Equidum

[indian_femdom]

She said she was quite disappointed and that I should seek help - I think she was suprised that it was femdom material rather than vanilla stuff because i'm quite dominant in my everyday life.

I'm more concerned that she will start telling all our mutual friends.

[cap]

I'm more concerned that she will start telling all our mutual friends.


That would indeed suck.Try explaining things to her. Hope things work out.

[ct1900]

Tell her to mind her own business. Let her buy her own computer instead of using yours if she doesn't like what you view. Disappointed??? Who the hell does she think she is, your mother?

[Heckron]

Tell her to mind her own business. Let her buy her own computer instead of using yours if she doesn't like what you view. Disappointed??? Who the hell does she think she is, your mother?

As much as I have respect for women, I do agree with ct1900. Why was she snooping around your interior files instead of just using it for what she needed it for anyway?

I understand it's a large point of embarassment for you that she might tell your friends. Really though, I feel she's overstepped her bounds in saying those things to you.

Explain how you feel. Let her know it's a part of your life. You're sorry she feels that way, but she needs to accept it and if she cares about you as a friend, she'll respect your privacy.

Even if she doesn't accept it or approve, if she has any class at all, she'll keep it to herself.

Just my opinion. :D Good luck buddy!

[crudwell]

just ask her..........."please sit on my face" ........ in return for total secrecy....... :fart:

[Scorpio]

It never ceases to suprise me who many women have no respect for privacy and go snooping around and then get all self-righteous when they find exactly what they were hoping to find in the first place.

I would be SO angry that she had snooped into my private things in the first place and I would have told her so. Don't worry too much about her telling people as she would have to admitt that she had betrayed your trust and good nature in lending her the laptop

Just my 2cents worth.

Scorpio ;)

[soleserver]

Someone i know also used my computer and recently found some Fem Domme material...but she just shrugged it off,saying its my private life.

[Daethian]

she made it a point to tell you she found it? Ugh... I would be annoyed too... why not just ignore it and forget you saw it. She needs help....lame

[A_Secret_Admirer]

I had a similar situation crop up. I handled it by saying that I had received a "virus" which reset my bookmarks to porn websites and started downloading material onto my computer. I went on to tell her that I spent a fair amount of time trying to remove the virus and all of the downloaded material from my computer. I stated that part of the process involved deleting files and such, and that I missed checking that folder for material that the "virus" downloaded onto my computer.

Best of luck to you!

[Ste Letto]

She is out of order.
Don't give her any power.
You have the right to be bloody angry here.
For the future, go to http://personal.inet.fi/business/toniarts/ and download Easy Cleaner it is a small utility for tidying up temp files, unnecessary files, the registry etc. It is very safe, I've used it for years.

[Daethian]

I love Easy CLeaner!

[Rodzo]

Be assured that it is her that needs help . . not you

[sinbad]

I agree, she invaded your privacy. You were only trying to help her out by letting her borrow it. If she had the nerve to tell you about it, then she probably has the nerve to tell others. I'm sure her husband already knows. I just hope he's a good enough friend to set her straight on the situation by keeping private things private. Best of luck to you man. I've been in several situations involving an 'invasion of privacy' and none were fun.

[lokant]

The peeps are right. Don't give her your laptop again.

[tripster2005]

Privacy invasion, plus judgement, and trying to make you look like the bad guy? Why would you put up with that? Probably digging for something if it was hidden well. I'd confront her.

[Jerre]

Like the other people already said here, why was She looking in your temp-folder ? She just wanted to find stuff like that.

[slavekalvin]

I was at a friend house looking at ebay. she used my laptop but did not go snooping round. thank god........

[Jadis]

She was purposefully LOOKING for something, TRYING to get you in trouble (which means she'd had some inkling of something prior to this to begin with and just wanted to get the "dirt" on you). It's not easy to find files when you're not very computer savvy, so it sounds like she was NOT being a true friend - period. I wouldn't let her use my computer again, I'd tell her it was my life and my business ... and well ... to BUGGER OFF! I cannot stand a friend that is faithless and untrustworthy.

You don't need that ...

[crudwell]

I love Easy CLeaner!

Crap Cleaner is better ... Also known as cccleaner...

you can configure it to your Daethianic desires... :worship:

[kappa75]

Id say you have to tell her your side of the story, but be confident about it, don't be embarassed. It might make things worse. Some girls are more accepting then others, but like others said, what buisness of hers is it to snoop around where she's not supposed to. She's the one that was looking around, definetly a person that I wouldnt leave anything with, laptop, wallet, etc....

[lildog]

You owe her nothing... including an apology/explanation.
What she did was premeditated and wrong. She dug for some dirt on ya'.
I get the feeling there's more to this story then your telling us.

[lontem]

Why was she going through your files anyway? That's snooping - and she should be embarrassed to be a sticky beak.

Years ago my (now-ex) wife snooped through my emails and found out a few fairly low-key things I had kept from her - just white lies, no big deal. Anyway, the point is that she was the one who ended up doing the most apologising - for snooping - and I didn't trust her as much after that. I never checked her emails... maybe I should have :-)

[ur_slave]

I think you should sit down and talk to her face to face. Tell her you are quite embarrassed that she found the stuff and that it was just a curiousity thing. Make her feel sorry for you - that's the only way to stop her from telling people - you know how women gossip.

[equidum]

Attack is often the best defense .... 1) Clean your computer. 2) Talk to your friend and make sure she is serious in her plans to slander about your fetishes 3) If she is serious ... Tell her you will also slander about her: You'll tell everyone that she tried to seduce you into some "pervert" sexual acts, like FS for instance, which you refused, and then she threatened to slander about you ....

Maybe you'll reach some balance of terror, and so avoid the war... This would be HER interest too !

Equidum

[Heckron]

Attack is often the best defense .... 1) Clean your computer. 2) Talk to your friend and make sure she is serious in her plans to slander about your fetishes 3) If she is serious ... Tell her you will also slander about her: You'll tell everyone that she tried to seduce you into some "pervert" sexual acts, like FS for instance, which you refused, and then she threatened to slander about you ....

Maybe you'll reach some balance of terror, and so avoid the war... This would be HER interest too !

Equidum

So...an eye for an eye then? I think Ghandi had something to say about that. :D

It may just die off and there's no reason to instigate something and start lying about her. As of this point he's done nothing wrong and she has...he should keep it that way and stay honest...he's already got the balance in his favor.

By lying, it makes him look like he DID do something wrong. Honesty is the best policy! :thumbsup:

[monX]

Tell her to mind her own business. Let her buy her own computer instead of using yours if she doesn't like what you view. Disappointed??? Who the hell does she think she is, your mother?


thank you.. you siad it all

[paki_dog]

indian_femdom, Your in an awkward position there mate. Being from an asian background myself I understand how narrow minded people really are. You want to just take your laptop back and make sure she doesn't borrow it again. She will most definately tell prople being an asian woman fromthe subcontinent anyway. Just take the laptop and deny what ever she throws at you and spread a dirtier roomer about her. Sooner or later she challenge you to it and tell her to F*** off. This may sound silly to alot of members here but this sort of issue is a taboo in our culture.

[Heckron]

indian_femdom, Your in an awkward position there mate. Being from an asian background myself I understand how narrow minded people really are. You want to just take your laptop back and make sure she doesn't borrow it again. She will most definately tell prople being an asian woman fromthe subcontinent anyway. Just take the laptop and deny what ever she throws at you and spread a dirtier roomer about her. Sooner or later she challenge you to it and tell her to F*** off. This may sound silly to alot of members here but this sort of issue is a taboo in our culture.

No actually. I do understand his situation. My wife is Indian and I understand the mentality very well. However, stick to the truth. It'll be easier in the long run. She still has no business controlling his actions with the threat of revealing this.

My initial comments stand. It's the best advice you can take.

[youngtramplee]

Shes the one who should be embarrassed, I completely agree with Scorpio, its ridiculous that she is acting all apalled even though she is the one who betrayed you and is a quite close minded person.

You have nothing to be ashamed of what so ever

[paki_dog]

No actually. I do understand his situation. My wife is Indian and I understand the mentality very well. However, stick to the truth. It'll be easier in the long run. She still has no business controlling his actions with the threat of revealing this.

My initial comments stand. It's the best advice you can take.

Just by being married to an Indian would not make you understand the mentality very well my friend. Try living in the subcontinent as I do half a year and you would know that this sort of information being leaked out can not just humiliate your self but you entire family.

I would advice the same again. Hold the dirt against her and let her know she's got alot more to lose and hopefully she will back off (snivelling little cow)

[Heckron]

Just by being married to an Indian would not make you understand the mentality very well my friend. Try living in the subcontinent as I do half a year and you would know that this sort of information being leaked out can not just humiliate your self but you entire family.

I would advice the same again. Hold the dirt against her and let her know she's got alot more to lose and hopefully she will back off (snivelling little cow)

Of course, you are right. I have no idea what I'm talking about since I don't live in the Asian subcontinent. I probably have no idea about the more 'Eastern' ideal of putting your family/community before yourself, rather than the 'Western' ideal which tends to be very individualistic. I've probably gained no clue as to the culture my wife is a part of, and as such, I am a part of as well. Thank you for showing me the light. You clearly know my life better than I do. :thumbsup:

I've done my very best to be as much a part of my wife's culture as she is, respect and learn its values, and integrate them into my own. I'll thank you very much not to challenge that I couldn't know the point you're trying to make simply because of my location or my relation to the culture.
:think2:

[tonguester]

Ask her if she's into facesitting. If not tell her to get stuffed.

[Moonboy]

She is out of order.
Don't give her any power.
You have the right to be bloody angry here.
For the future, go to http://personal.inet.fi/business/toniarts/ and download Easy Cleaner it is a small utility for tidying up temp files, unnecessary files, the registry etc. It is very safe, I've used it for years.

Exactly. Don't validate her self-righteous attitude by apologizing or behaving as if you've done anything wrong. But also realize that people like that live in their own little world where everyone conforms to their ideas or else. Its useless to try to justify yourself to people like that. At best, send her a nice, brief email explaining that you never realized she had such unrealistic ideas about things or about male sexuality and you would never have lent her the computer had you realized her inability to cope with reality.

Okay, that's probably NOT a good idea. Of course, even if she does tell people, wouldn't most of your female friends just think, "Oh a guy looks at porno pictures of women with whips or something. Big surprise that is" and most male friends would think she was exxagerating and it was just the same basic porn they all look at and deny they do it.