Vanilla Relationships - Worth it?

[murdoch2348]

What are your opinions on vanilla relationships? Are they worth the time, have you had many understanding partners who you could take to the 'dark side' ?

[ct1900]

I have met women who were not into this life that I introduced to it. Some take to it like a duck to water. But I would never maintian a purely vanilla relationship. For what? It is not what I want or need, so it would be utterly boring.

[Mistress Sara]

It depends on if she has the least bit interest in it. If she likes adventure and breaking the rules.

I think that if you don't have some sort of balance in life that yes, it will definatly be boring. Everyone goes through periods like that in their life...

I wouldn't dismiss vanilla relationships all together though. That's My two cents on the issue.

Always Above...
Mistress Sara

[victorianseat]

I prefer vanilla relationships with a touch of the fetish essence, so when you tire of your fetish you still have other activities to catch up on, like paragliding with your mate or bungee jumping with her.

[Jadis]

I rather agree with what I've heard so far: vanilla relationships are very worth it (though, in my experience - few relationships are completely 100% vanilla ... they just haven't found their kink yet). But there definitely needs to be more there than just the BDSM connection/sexual connection - because you want more between yourselves that something that (in all reality) tends to fade with age (well, except kenrug and Sara) ;)

[murdoch2348]

I rather agree with what I've heard so far: vanilla relationships are very worth it (though, in my experience - few relationships are completely 100% vanilla ... they just haven't found their kink yet). But there definitely needs to be more there than just the BDSM connection/sexual connection - because you want more between yourselves that something that (in all reality) tends to fade with age (well, except kenrug and Sara) ;)

I hadn't considered sex and BDSM urges fading with a long term relationship. You make an excellent point, one can't be a sexual being alone, there must be more to a relationship than sex alone.

[victorianseat]

I rather agree with what I've heard so far: vanilla relationships are very worth it (though, in my experience - few relationships are completely 100% vanilla ... they just haven't found their kink yet). But there definitely needs to be more there than just the BDSM connection/sexual connection - because you want more between yourselves that something that (in all reality) tends to fade with age (well, except kenrug and Sara) ;)

Thats what I said one Vanilla Ice cream with a few chocolate chip kink bits in it to Go Jadis if you please !!!

[ct1900]

A long term relationship where you have things in common does not mean vanilla. A relationship where your SO does not know you, does not enjoy your kink and fetishes is vanilla. That situation almost certainly leads to unhappiness and cheating.

[HerOttoman]

I am assuming you are talking about standard bf/gf, dating relationships, right? I mean I have lots of "vanilla" relationships--very few of my friends are "kinky" (well, that I know of!) And if that's the case, my flat out response is "NO, they can't work". You will always want what you can't have, and in this case, need. And you will think, "Gee, she's great in so many other ways--maybe I can convert her." But you won't--at worst, she'll run away screaming and tell all her friends what a freak you are, and at best, she'll stick around you because she likes you, and you'll both spend the rest of your limited time together waiting, hoping to convince each other that your side is the right one. Not that I'm speaking from expereince or anything...

[ct1900]

Some girls can be introduced to our scene. Some girls harbor secret fantasies that may surprise you. Some of the sweetest girls have real sadism buried within. A wise man will make sure he is compatible with a woman before embarking on a relationship with her. Why be bored and unsatisfied? We live in a global, internet world. You don't have to marry the girl on the next farm anymore.

[ooglyboogly]

You can have a great vanilla relationship but you'll always have your fetish on your mind. Mines seems to become all-consuming if im not indulging it for long periods. so its best to talk about it with your gf when its appropriate. Obviously try and make it fun for her and there shouldnt be any problems! (unless you're into her doing a poo on you, burning ur willy off etc then your on your own buddy!!)

[lancia98]

"vanilla relationship"? Holy cow. Is that what its called.

[Scorpio]

(unless you're into her doing a poo on you, burning ur willy off etc then your on your own buddy!!)

That made me laugh!

Scorpio ;)

[HerOttoman]

Made me laugh, too-- we don't use the term "willy" over here nearly often enough...

[ur_slave]

I was vanilla till I met my ex... she took me to the dark side! I would suggest that many people have an interest in BDSM, even if they have not really played around with it. Not something to write off.

[Daethian]

I have a BDSM relationship that turned vanilla and I'm trying to find some way to balance my needs and wants. Thankfully he is aware of my fetish so that's one hurdle out of the way ;) I love him and our life so I'm not looking to leave him or replace him but be allowed to have a slave/sub on the side to satisfy my need to top.