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Old 03-28-2013, 8:40 AM
SlaveRon SlaveRon is offline
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Real Life 24-7 femdom story and advice needed

If anyone with the time to read this and give me some feedback… I could really use some advice. Sorry its really long but to truly understand it you need some background and details. Some you may actually find it interesting. Here it is…

About 15 months ago I signed a contract to be a live-in 24/7 slave with my mistress for the duration of 2 years. At the end of the 2 years, I would discuss either a new contract, return as her slave part time, or I could end my relationship with her altogether. I had a relationship with her for a year prior but it was not as a live-in slave… I saw her roughly twice a month. By signing the contract I basically agreed to be her full time servant. I work a professional full time job and most of money goes directly to her and when I am not working at my office… I am basically working for her. I do chores, cook, clean, and basically do everything and anything she wants. When I agreed to this lifestyle, it was agreed that there would be punishments with no limits and no safe word, however I could walk away from being her slave at any time. In other words, if I want out or if I can’t handle her punishments than all I have to do is say so and she will let me go. Obviously slavery is not legal and the contract was not really enforceable by law so our contract just serves as an outline for what is expected of me and what our arrangement is, but again, I could end it at any time by leaving.

But here is the issue… it was made very clear that if I said I wanted the arrangement to be over than she would not allow me to see her or serve her ever again in any way shape or form. It’s basically all or nothing. Take whatever she dishes out or have no relationship with her at all. I must say I have thoroughly enjoyed serving my mistress for the entire time I have known her. I’ve also particularly enjoyed these last 15 months as her full time slave and I really want to keep my commitment the full 2 years. There has been nothing more fulfilling than serving her… as she is absolutely amazing in more ways than one. She has an unbelievable personality, she is extremely bright, and she absolutely gorgeous. When I say gorgeous I really mean “Gorgeous”…. Could easily be a professional model if she wanted to. Furthermore she has a natural and elegant dominance that words can’t really explain. Just being in the same room as her… you feel her presence and command. So without question she is stimulating around the clock, but I need to also make it clear that this relationship as a full time slave, is not about me just filling some “fetish” fantasy of mine. It is truly a fulfilling experience in more ways than that. It is about devotion, dedication, commitment, and a lot more. It’s an all-around exhilarating experience to serve this woman. Its not forever but right now it’s a great experience. I think this may be hard for other people to understand without this experience but it is the truth and I cannot say enough good things about it.

So that is all the good stuff, and here is the bad… Up until 2 months ago I have been able to tolerate her punishments fairly well. Most of these punishments were given when I had done something wrong or hadn’t done something to her satisfaction. There had been a few nights during my 15 months as a live-in that I was hurting pretty bad but overall it was nothing I couldn’t handle. Remember I was her slave on a part time basis for an entire year before I had agreed to be a live in. I always felt that while she had the ability to inflict some very harsh punishment, it was always within limits. I could always handle it and it was generally standard punishments… belting, whippings, caning, trampling, etc. Again, it was generally when I didn’t do something to her satisfaction.

But in the last 2 months, things have been much different and the punishments have been extremely harsh, long and very painful. I am also being beaten by her on a regular basis and many times I haven’t even disobeyed her. I feel like she has been making up things that I am “doing wrong” just to beat me. For example, I did not properly “massage her feet” (in her words) one night and she proceeded to chain me up in the basement floor naked for the entire weekend. She came down every few hours, whipped me, caned me, and pretty much tortured me all weekend. Water yes, but no food all weekend. Slept in a cage with steel shackles on. Lets just say I did a lot of begging, screaming, and crying that weekend down there. In a way it was somewhat what I want as a slave, but it may have been too painful this time. My ass was so ripped up I have been in a diaper since and she has continued to beat me often and reopen the wounds. And seriously, I have not been beaten like that before from her for a “bad foot massage”. That’s not even doing something wrong, like forgetting a chore or something. Another time a couple weeks ago, she said I did not align her heels correctly in her closet and they were mismatched. ?!? ! Okay I get it! I did technically flub up a bit, but the torture that followed was completely disproportionate to what I did! I can see being punished and that is our arrangement, but holy shit it was bad. I was chained to a spiked mat for 3 hours at the edge of her bed…. She whipped my back and legs for a very long time and then walked all over my back in every pair of heels at least twice. I cried like hell after a while. Begged her for forgiveness but she wouldn’t have it. She did allow me to worship her feet in the process but I was in so much pain I really couldn’t focus in on it. Usually this type of punishment would be moderate and I would actually enjoy it especially the foot worship part, but the pain was too intense this time for any of that. If anyone has ever gotten chained to a spiked mat for several hours, whipped, and trampled AFTER you’ve been whipped it’s not fun. The most beautiful woman in the world with the most beautiful feet in the world, but still, with this kind of intensity it was beyond what I think most people could probably take without breaking down.

So I don’t know why she is treating me this harshly out of nowhere the last couple months. I think you get the point of the dilemma I am in now, but let me give one more story just because it feels good to finally vent…. Another day in the last 2 months I was going to be coming home late from work so I sent her a text that I was going to be late. She said she didn’t get it and was pissed. I showed her in my sent texts on my phone but she said she didn’t care and insisted she didn’t get it. I think she deleted it because she was in a bad mood and just wanted to beat me. I told her I was sorry, I would make it up to her, explained in detail why I had to stay late, and was literally on my knees kissing her feet for forgiveness. She was not having any of it for a second. In the past she would have been more reasonable and my punishment for something like this would have been moderate, but this time it was a different story. Another entire weekend of punishment. Starting Friday after work, came home, was brought into the basement and laid over a wooden bench. It’s the classic wooden punishment bench you’ve probably seen before. She chained my arms to the side and also had a set of steel shackles between both hands and a set of steel shackles between both feet. She rotated between a 28” cat o nine tales, paddle, crop and a really thick cane. Again, way more than she had ever beaten me in the months before. Lots of tears, lots of screaming and even blood. After a while she took me down from the bench. I’m still chained up with shackles on my arms and feet and I probably would have run if I wasn’t. (She always keeps me chained very well when she inflicts these long beatings in case I think about lashing out or running away). So then she has me kneel in front of her. She just sits there in front of me for a good half hour slapping me across the face. Vicious slaps one after the other with me practically crying. Telling me not to lie to her ever again. It was pretty humiliating. Not only was my ass a mess at this point but my face was swollen and beat red and I’m really hurting but she said I hadn’t suffered enough for what I did. Turns me over on my back as I lay under her and she applies pressure all over my wounds on my beaten back and ass with her feet for the rest of the night while she sits on the couch. Quite painful, but I am thankful it was her bare feet this time and not her heels. She was threatening to put on heels if I didn’t stop crying so I laid there on the floor for the rest of the night holding back tears with her digging into these bruised and swollen wounds with her feet. At one point I made the mistake of blurting out a curse in the middle of the pain. She didn’t like this and decided to punish me even more for that by putting rubbing alcohol on my back to disinfect the wounds. Pours rubbing alcohol all over the wounds and rubs it in with her feet for what felt like forever. At this point I’m trying to get away from her but being that I am chained up it was impossible. And she warned me if I continued to try and move away she’d torture me more. So I forced myself still, trembling and taking the pain. Talk about being at the mercy of your mistress…. I never imagined it would be like this. Not this intense at least. I can’t explain how submissive I had become at that point. I literally felt like a groveling beaten miserable dog that would do absolutely anything if she would just have mercy on me. So the whole ordeal was rough I don’t even want to say what happened the rest of that weekend because it actually got a lot worse. There has also been a ton of other situations like this over the 2 months and I can go on forever but by now you got the point. Do I still enjoy aspects of this beneath all the torture? Sure. But has it gotten much tougher and more difficult than I ever expected and now I am second guessing everything.

So with all that said, I have been tempted many times this last couple months to say I was done because I could no longer take the painful punishments… but I just couldn’t actually get myself to say it. I can’t get myself to walk away from her completely. It’s all or nothing. If I say I want out… sure she will let me go but that’s it. No more seeing her at all. If you are thinking that she won’t completely cut me off… believe me she will. That would be the end of it. If there is one thing about this woman… when she says something, she says it once and “she means it”. I learned this the hard way the last few months. I wouldn’t dare question her more than once EVER AGAIN about anything. If I were to say I cannot take this anymore and I am done, then it’s over, but EVERYTHING is over. My entire relationship with her as a slave is over forever. I don’t know if I can deal with that. I want to continue to serve this woman and be her slave and be in her life. I couldn’t deal with the fact that I broke my 2 year commitment as a live-in and more so, I could not deal with not seeing her again. This is the dilemma. Strange for many reading this I am sure it sounds like a simple choice to just leave, but it’s really a tough decision for me.

Where does it leave me now? For one, I am very beaten up the last 2 months from her. Lots of welts, bruises, bleeding, swelling and very soar all over. Can’t sit on my ass (in a diaper) without it hurting and she started beating the soles of my feet now too so everytime I walk I am in pain. I know that is what she wants…. For me to be thinking of her all day whenever I stand or sit. Constantly reminded of what she can and will do to me. I have also been in chastity for over 6 weeks now and have slept almost every night in cage next to her bed. After I get home from work, do chores, make dinner and clean up she almost always puts shackles on my arms and legs now. I do have flexibility to move my arms somewhat in these, but is limited and once I am chained with shackles on my ankels, I am forced to crawl around the rest of the night and she always carries a whip with her frequently beating me as a crawl around. She very rarely used to do this and now its almost every night. I do get the privilege of rubbing her feet almost nightly but after that she beats me pretty good and then puts me in the cage. And lastly, and perhaps the all worst part of this is that she has spent considerable time ordering new torture device online. She spent several nights online taunting me and showing me all the stuff she was ordering … new gags, muzzles, restraining devices, whips, cbt devices, clamps, etc. The worst 2 things looked like a sitting stock for restraint (both arms and legs go in this thing) and a needle roller that I fear she will use as I sit helplessly in this thing. She really likes to spend time just sitting there slowly and calmly torturing me and laughing at me after I’ve already been beaten badly. This is perhaps the most cruel part of her punishments because it is long, slow, and adds insult to injury. At this point I am usually tearing or crying a good amount and trying to bargain my way out of more punishment but I have to be careful what I say or she will make it worse.

I have tried talking to her about the beatings and have told her that it is getting too much for me to handle. In a nutshell she said “You will take whatever punishment I give you or you can go. You have a choice. But once you leave here there is no coming back.” This is not the answer I was obviously looking for at all. How about something in between? So now I think I want out now because of the intensity of punishments but I feel attached to her in a major way and really love her. Truth is though, is that I went from being sexually excited all the time around her to being legitimately stricken with fear around her. I do still feel extremely stimulated around her but now I feel more fear than anything else. It’s hard to explain. I really must say… I know she won’t ever permanently damage me in any way. She might be beating me pretty good but I know she won’t actually cause any type of real damage; That’s not my concern or issue…. it’s just going to be one painful rest of a ride (9 months left) . I fear if I continue to ask her to consider “Limits” and adding a “Safe word” she will beat me even more. She already said once if I keep asking her she is going to give me an extremely painful punishment. And she never used the words “extremely painful” yet so I’m really terrified. Her words specifically… “Ask me one more time and you are going to get an extremely painful punishment. There are no locks on the door here. You know the deal….If you can’t handle it, leave, but don’t think you are coming back. Let’s not have this conversation again or you can decide how you want to deal with “limits” and “Safe words” with me laying into you with a bullwhip all night”

I was shaking and trembling. I never used to shake and tremble in her presence like that and in the last 2 months I am practically shaking all the time. I try to hide it but it is pretty tough. When I was massaging her feet last night I was shaking again. I don’t know what was going through my mind but I think that was just scared that I wouldn’t do a good job again and I would end up in the basement for the weekend getting tortured. The issue with shaking is that I started to feel like my hands were unsteady and she might have not been enjoying the foot massage. Maybe I am just paranoid cause she didn’t say anything but I felt like maybe she was aware of it, so this whole realization made my hands tremble even more and it was like a vicious cycle of fear feeding fear. At her beautiful feet and man I have to say that her feet are absolutely AMAZING and I am one lucky guy to be at her feet like this and it this is one of many reasons I don’t want to walk away. She does give me a considerable amount of attention (Sexually speaking and other things) despite the more frequent beatings. She is very sexy, wears unbelievable outfits, sexy heels, all of it, especially when she beats me. She has a great body that she lets me worship often and I feel like I might be living a dream that I may never have the chance at again. But still I am not sure I can handle her intense punishments now. It’s her rules with no negotiation and I have so much respect for that and so much respect for her but it’s a bit scary.

So what would you do… leave for good or try to tough it out? Or if you have another idea on how to be able to manage this please let me know. Also, do you think she is trying to maybe make a more loyal slave out of me by breaking me down more? Do you think she will start to be more reasonable with punishments at some point again? Do you think this is temporary? Again, I can’t get a read on her and if I ask her any more questions about this I’m in serious trouble. Thanks for reading.

SlaveRon
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Old 03-28-2013, 1:30 PM
macrina macrina is online now
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Thank you for your post, you schould be happy with your Mistress slave. Enjoy your slave life.
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Old 03-28-2013, 7:58 PM
chunk301 chunk301 is offline
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She is trying to break you and force you to go. She does not want you anymore. Bail out now before permanent damage is done.
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Old 03-29-2013, 11:23 AM
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tuvaletkolesi tuvaletkolesi is offline
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Must be really hard to be a real slave to someone. It sounds like fun and exciting when you fantasize about serving a woman but in reality it can be very boring and exhausting. I tried this with a woman I met online and I gave up the second day after she made me do her cleaning and make her bed and stuff like that Just didn't feel sexual doing those chores at all and I was like, "what the hell am I doing here".
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Old 03-29-2013, 1:39 PM
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jade_007j jade_007j is offline
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Question What in the world...

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Originally Posted by chunk301 View Post
She is trying to break you and force you to go. She does not want you anymore. Bail out now before permanent damage is done.
I agree with you. She wants him gone and forcing him to quit rather than admitting she has failed or does not care for him.
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Old 03-31-2013, 2:40 PM
subfootstool subfootstool is offline
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I think you need to run away to fight again another day
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Old 03-31-2013, 3:35 PM
slvesal slvesal is online now
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Your Goddess is testing your devotion, and loyalty to her. Real Life slavery is not about the sexual feeling one gets, but that of total loyal devotion to Her no matter what kind of mood she is in. There are many submissives that just want the occasional Mistress/slave relationship, but being a true slave is totally different, it is about the complete devotion, and trust you put into your Owner, It is about service, obedience (even if she is wrong you must listen without question), if she just feels like whipping or torturing you just because she feels like it, as a slave you have no choice, this is part of being broken in to serve her fro the remainder of your life.
The question you must answer is if this is the life you wish, then i would move forward being in Her service, if not, then you must make a choice.
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Old 04-02-2013, 12:09 AM
subfootstool subfootstool is offline
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Run away and start again with someone else. There are many beautiful dominant women on the planet
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Old 04-02-2013, 7:36 PM
SlaveRon SlaveRon is offline
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Thanks for some of the feedback here. I too have thought that she may just want me out, which is what a few of you suggested but at the end of the day I really don’t think this is the case. I’m confident that if she wanted me out, she wouldn’t hesitate to just tell me to leave. Also, I don’t think she would be spending as much time with me if she wanted me out. Yes, a lot of the time spent with me is time spent torturing me, but still I don’t think she would even be spending even this kind of time with me if she wanted me gone.
I could be wrong, but after doing some more thinking, I really think it comes down to two things… 1.) She wants to make me more loyal and dedicated slave out of me (which is what slvesal suggested) and 2.) She also enjoys torturing me and seeing me in pain. As far is the former is concerned, she knows how beautiful she and how lucky anyone is to be her slave. I will be the first to agree that she deserves a slave that is grateful, obedient, and servicing to her every need. If I can’t meet her expectations she deserves someone who will.
With respect to #2. I think she does truly get some level of enjoyment out of it and that’s why she has been doing it more. But the one thing that still amazes me is how merciless she can be on me for long periods of time. No matter how much begging, crying, screaming and bleeding I do, she can still manage to beat me endlessly without mercy. This is truly amazing. She doesn’t even flinch. To be honest, this is one of her dominant qualities that I am majorly attracted to but fear very much at the same time. I know for sure that if I was subjecting someone to this kind of extreme pain, it would be in my nature to eventually ease up on them (if rolls where reversed for example). It would actually frighten to beat someone so badly. But with her there is no mercy no matter what!!! No matter how much time I spend hysterical crying, hunched over in pain, trembling, kissing her feet and legs, begging, saying I’m sorry, and promising I will try harder next time…. She is still stone cold, relaxed, smiling, laughing and loving every second of my suffering. Its just so unbelievable sometimes how she can be like this when I am in so much pain!! If I get too noisy she just gags me. If move too much she just chains me and restrains me more. If I protest or complain she just beats me harder. If I cry too much she makes me lick the tears off the floor or off her feet (depending on where they land). But no matter what she finds a way to continue an unbearably painful punishment. It’s enough so that I am very dizzy, sick, lightheaded, disoriented, and in so much pain after that I don’t even know what’s going on anymore. All I know is, by the end of the punishment I am usually screaming “please please please no” “Anything, I will do anything”. Repeating this kind of stuff hundreds of times. But no matter what I am beaten until she is satisfied and until she feels I’ve suffered enough. On a positive note I feel my skin is toughening up from the beatings and it is making them more bearable. My ass is kind of like leather now, so even though the punishments are painful it takes a lot more until I am feeling the burn.
Anyway, that’s the update for now. I think I’ve come to my senses that I am kidding myself if I think I really have the balls to leave this woman. I don’t think I ever really could and I think she knows this. Even despite all this pain. This may be why she knows that the more she tortures me the more obedient I will be and the more she has to gain. It must be obvious to her that the more I fear her the harder I try to please her. From her perspective she is molding a perfect slave and from my perspective I’ve become one sad fearful tortured creature with the most unbelievable admiration and desire to serve and please my mistress. I will post some updates when I can. It feels great to vent and get some feedback. Thanks again.
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Old 04-13-2013, 7:13 PM
ldavalon ldavalon is offline
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Anyone who gives you directional advice (like mNY of the above) -- including me, if i do so -- is wrong. It's up you you. Do you really want to put up with whatever she dishes out... or not? There's your answer. w/ respect, L.
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Old 05-24-2013, 10:11 AM
Billy Butler Billy Butler is offline
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SlaveRon,

First off thanks for sharing. I've never come across a true story like yours that is so extreme. It's fascinating. I give you credit for following your dream and being able to take unbelievably harsh abuse from this woman. I know for one, I have fantasized about being a slave to a woman, but I'd never really be able really go through with it in real life. I like more of a role-play type of slave scenario for the bedroom. I assume your Mistress has no idea you come onto this community and share your experiences? You describe her as incredibly beautiful, I know everyone would love to see a picture of her, however, I would not want to turn on CNN and hear about you tortured and killed because of it. Ok that was a bit of a joke but you know what I mean. So what of your friends, family, co-workers?? Do they question why you are never around or if you are perhaps they see the marks from her abuse on your body and question it? Does anyone else know of your slavery to this woman? Does she ever have any company over, like her friends or family? I feel it must be so difficult to fully hide your slavery from everyone.

Anyway, thanks for sharing. Would love to hear further experiences if you wouldn't mind sharing.
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Old 11-24-2013, 9:39 AM
SlaveRon SlaveRon is offline
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It is very challenging to hide this lifestyle. My family is of the understanding that she is my girlfriend, however they are confused as to why I do not have her at family functions or act like a real couple. Her family lives pretty far away so that is not an issue. Her female friends are well aware of my slavery and they often partake in torturing me and it is my responsibility to serve them when they are in my presence.
As far hiding marks, this is a major problem as I do have scars all over my back, ass, and even on areas of my legs. Taking my shirt off in public is completely out of the question, and I have had to do some explaining to other woman who I have dated that have seen me with my shirt off. It’s a real shocker when you see scars all over like that and there is no way to make up an excuse that sounds credible so I’ve reluctantly had to admit to my lifestyle with these women, which is a whole different story.

I would never suggest being a full time slave and think that keeping it to role playing and the bedroom is more ideal. Most people do not understand the full responsibility of being a true real slave and it may seem appealing but I assure you it is not for most people. It is extremely hard work. I am constantly at work for this woman… cleaning, washing, shopping, massaging her, running around doing chores and work all day and night in addition to a full time job I work. It is incredibly exhausting. Fortunately I can often “work from home” with my real job so this provides greater flexibility but it also allows my mistress to take advantage of me more and require more from me. Forgetting to do something or doing a lousy job on something is out the question as it results in very severe punishment. So at all costs everything gets done on time and to the absolute best of my abilities. I have several different alarms that I carry on me that are constantly going off to remind my chores and I carry checklists around all day. I am truly terrified of messing up. There is role play femdom and then there is real femdom, real slavery, and real punishment. I consider myself a real slave. Another aspect that people need to consider with this lifestyle is there ability take harsh punishments and there ability to be restrained and chained up sometimes for very long periods. Some of these factors depends on your mistress, but in my case, harsh punishments and restraining devices are used very often. It is very uncomfortable and painful to be chained for long periods of time in these devices. After all chores are done I end up chained up or put in a restrating devices at the feet of my mistress. Literally at her feet. Massaging them as I am shackled. This happens almost every night. So when I am not doing chores for her, I am restrained and many times I am even doing chores as I am in some restraining device. And then there is punishments and whippings which are brutal and they can happen for no reason at all. Just because my mistress feels like beating me or because she gets off from my suffering. This is something that I have had to learn to accept over the years. I have learned to accept every punishment without any question. There are a few times that I have verbally challenged my mistress and tried to refute her punishments and it has landed me some of the harshest most painful punishments I will never forget. . Most of these times my actions were not even something I had control over. They were like temper tantrums that I threw just out of being degraded and beaten so much. Wrapped up in the moment I lost control over my emotions and said things I ended up regretting very badly as it only made my punishment longer and harsher. I’d be willing to share some more of these experiences in detail if people wish to hear, but it is often difficult to find time with all the responsibilities I have. But again my best advice here is to stick to the bedroom and role play femdom. I often wish I did and now I am in so deep with this that I don't know how to get out and on some level I am actually scared to leave. Difficult to explain.
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Old 11-26-2013, 2:10 AM
rubbermac rubbermac is online now
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I can truly empathise with you slaveron,as although my situation isn't dramatic or as harsh as yours,i am in a position whereby I am a slave to a family..It is not a 24/7 position even though sometimes I think it may as well be,and they don't dress up in Leather or Rubber and constantly beat me,but they know and I know it would be very hard for me to leave or refuse to do anything for them,it is the psychocolgy of it.

They treat me with utter comtempt,love to humiliate me and know by doing this I will always come back for more and do anything that is asked of me whether it be housework,decorating or being a chauffeur for them..I won't go into specific details (unless you wish me to)but I fully appreciate where you are coming from.
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Old 11-26-2013, 6:36 AM
neal neal is online now
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Rubbermac, I would love to hear the details of your slavery. Especially if it involves abuse and humiliation at the feet of the ladies in the house. Thanks.
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Old 11-30-2013, 12:47 PM
Billy Butler Billy Butler is offline
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SlaveRon,
I would absolutely love to hear more of your experiences in great detail! I think most people on this forum would. Thanks a lot for what you have shared with us so far, I definitely understand that you don't have much time, if any, to yourself to come on here and share your experiences with us. So whether it is in a few days, week, months - when you can share , please do. I find your situation fascinating to say the least. Why can't you leave?? Is it psychological? It sounds like your Owner has had her power to you go to her head. Isn't she ever afraid she will cause some type of permanent damage or I hate to say it, even kill you? I've never read of such harsh treatment in real life, she sounds legitimately psychologically CRAZY... As I've said, the slave/Mistress relationship is strictly a fantasy to me. I wouldn't be able to do it in real life. I've had many experiences int he bedroom with it but the closest thing outside of that is flirting with other women. Usually threw some events they find out about my submissiveness and foot fetish and use that as a means to flirt, it's exciting. Also, I've come across some Domme's online. Usually I'd send them a few bucks and they will write me some degrading emails or send me a pair or socks or something. However, I'm always careful not to send too much, I've read to many experiences of guys that have ruined themselves financially by sending all their money to a Mistress. Does your Owner ever use her feet as a reward to you or even punishment? It sounds like she likes you worshiping and the attention to her feet. How is it when she has friends over? It is more humiliating and do they beat you as well??

to rubbermac,

YES, please share your experiences in much more detail if you do not mind!! We would all love to hear! Who are the members of this family you serve? It is just women or no? Who treats you the worst? How did you come upon your situation to serve a family? How degrading can they be to you? Is their any foot worship or feet related activities involved ever?? Sorry for the million questions but I'm an inquisitive guy and interested to hear about your situation.

Thank both of you guys for sharing, very much appreciated.
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