National Alert Status

McBain

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May 11, 2004
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As many are aware, the French government recently announced a raise in its
terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide".
The normal level is "General Arrogance", and the only two higher levels in
France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate".
The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white
flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.


It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert:

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to
"Elaborate military posturing".
Two more levels remain, "Ineffective combat operations" and "Change sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdain" to "Dress in
uniform and sing marching songs".
They have two higher levels: "Invade a neighbour" and "Lose".

Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from
"Isolationism" to "Find another oil-rich nation for regime change".
Their remaining higher alert states are "Attack random countries (ideally
those without any credible military)" and "Beg the British for help".

The British are also feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and
have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved".
Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even
"A Bit Cross".
Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the Blitz in 1940 when tea
supplies all but ran out.
Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "Bloody Nuisance".
The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was
during the Great Fire of 1666.