New facesitting smother story. Please read and comment on it.

Did you like the excerpt of my book?

  • Yes

    Votes: 3 100.0%
  • No

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Maybe

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    3
May 3, 2018
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#1
I posted a new facesitting smother story in the facesitting/smother stories forum almost a week ago. I could use some feedback and comments. Please read and comment. Posted in the stories forum is a long excerpt from my book. Chapters 27 through 38 I think. You can read the full book for free on booksie.com. No sign up. No downloads. It's free. Check it out please. I really need some feedback. Thanks

Book is called "faceless" by Isaac Nathan

https://www.booksie.com/users/isaac-nathan-239899

Or just go to booksie.com and search Isaac Nathan "faceless"

Please read the excerpt in the facesitting stories forum on this site too. Please comment
 
May 18, 2018
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#4
You should really get some better paragraphing in your story. Now It's all long blocks of text, and that's real hard to read regardless of how you like the story.